Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Last one out ...


Image taken without permission from Rick Lee

Where to Live:

Phoenix Arizona where.....
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that dry heat is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and Lets fry an egg on the utility cover??!!

Northern California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy housing with a parking space.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. Your property insurance comes with a 20% deductable.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to
get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6.The 4 seasons are: Fog, fog, fog, and fog.

Southern California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an avocado.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to
get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6.The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought

New York City where...
1. You say the city and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is nature.
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn.
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. y'all is singular and all y'all is plural.
3. He needed killin' is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.
5. Visitors often hear, You're not from around here are you ...
6. The 4 seasons are: humid & tolerable, humid & hot, really humid and really hot, and bug nirvana.

Boulder Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
5. Smug capital of the world.
6. Don't like the weather, wait a few minutes.

Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from heat to A/C on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: Where's my coat at?
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, It was different!

Florida where..
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people or dogs.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable & dry, hot, really hot & humid, and hurricane.

2 comments:

Dr. Zaius said...

This is a great post. Now I know for sure there is nowhere to live!

Anonymous said...

Canada is a great place to live!

Hummm except for winter....