Assuming you passed the Rapture test in the previous post, what will you do with your pet once you are gone? Fortunately a group of pet-loving atheists has the solution.
Eternal Earthbound Pets will go by your home, pick up your dog or cat, and place it in the home of a pet-loving atheist who will take care of it for the remainder of its life, all for just $135.
And just to be certain none of their rescuers are mistakenly Raptured, they are all required to
blaspheme in writing in accordance with Mark 3:29. "It's the only unforgivable sin," he explains. That way, even if a rescuer does find Jesus prior to the rapture, they're still screwed in case of the rapture.
The group operates in 26 states, mostly in the Heartland and New England. Its assumed that pets in California won't notice anything going on.
Read more about it at Gizmodo.