Experience: Husband secretly let her run country from 1997-1999
Reason For Presidential Bid: Left some stuff at White House
Favorite Food: Wheat slurry injected directly into her stomach
Signature Issue: Becoming President of the United States
Murder Convictions: 3
Make-up Secrets: Classified
Reproductive Process: Squirts thousands of egg sacs into host intestine, then fertilizes them herself
For the rest see the latest Onion.