Tuesday, December 02, 2008

A Modern Tragedy

THE TRAGEDY OF THE AMERICAN AUTOMOBILE INDUSTRY:
A Play in Three Acts

Courtesy of Balloon-Juice

Dramatis Personae

BIG THREE, a manufacturer of automobiles
UAW, Big Three’s employee
MITT ROMNEY, an idiot

ACT ONE

BIG THREE: I have plans to build automobiles, but I need labor to do so!


UAW: I will labor for you if you will pay me $40 per hour.


BIG THREE: I will not pay you $40 per hour.


UAW: But I need to save for my inevitible retirement, and any health concerns that may arise.


BIG THREE: I will pay you $30 per hour, plus a generous pension of guaranteed payments and health care upon your retirement.


UAW: Then I agree to work for you!

ACT TWO

UAW: I am building cars for you, as I have promised to do!


BIG THREE: I am designing terrible cars that few people want to buy! Also, rather than save for UAW’s inevitible retirement when I will have to pay him the generous pension of guaranteed payments and health care that I promised, I am spending that money under the dubious assumption that my future revenues will be sufficient to meet those obligations.

ACT THREE

UAW: I have fulfilled my end of the deal by building the automobiles that you have asked me to build.


BIG THREE: Oh no! I am undone! My automobiles are no longer competitive due to my years of poor planning and poor judgment!


MITT ROMNEY: This is all UAW’s fault!

3 comments:

Tengrain said...

I laughed, I cried. It is the Tony-award winning play of the year!

Regards,

Tengrain

RC said...

I thought it was a little long for a first time drama . . otherwise, riveting. I was welded to my seat.

K T Cat said...

But wait a minute. In Act One, Mitt should have said they all needed a big bailout and he was on their sides.